Jokes!!

hi hi,

Firstly, i would like to wish u all a Happy 2007!! may all your wishes and blessings come true..

i'm currently doing a online course with NTU on Business Finance ( its some scheme by SAF la.. they give u $$ to take the course so y not.. i chose business finance because i thought it migh be useful when i take accountancy in uni in jul hahax ) then there were some business joke in the website.. ha so maybe can share it my blog so u guys can have a good laugh.. hahax.. but actually aint veri funny la... hmmm... maybe i'm such a uninteresting person... -shrugs- here go... enjoy!!!

1) Financial Analyst and Shepherd
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are a financial analyst for a bank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."

2) Business Professor & Wedding Ring
A professor was about to get married. He went to the jewelers to get a wedding ring for his fiancee. The jeweler told him that he can have the inside of the ring engraved with the name of his fiancee for an additional $20. He said, "But that will reduce the resale value!" The jeweler was aghast. He said, "How can you say such a thing. You are a butcher!" "No," replied the professor, "I am a business finance speacialist"."

3) Fast Marriage Proposal
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

4) Poor Professor
One day, three old school mates met. They were remembering the tough old days they went through together as students in a JC. One is an entrepreneur, one a GLC CEO and one a professor in NTU. They decided to go for a ride in the entrepreneur’s Porsche. They zipped passed expressways and winding country roads and soon reached the Singapore Zoo and entered it. As they passed an elephant, the entrepreneur wanted to show off that despite the fact that he used to be at the bottom of the class and could not even qualify for a place in the university, was able to move and shake things. He suggested that "Why don't we prove who is the best among us?". The high and mighty GLC CEO thought that since he was the boss in a multi-billon dollar organization should have no difficulty in making things happen. The professor knew that since he had always been at the top of the class, none of them could beat him. So, they agreed.
Then the entrepreneur said "Let's make a test. Whoever can make this elephant laugh, he is the smartest". They all agreed and started.Being a pure logical strategist, the entrepreneur tried to make the elephant laugh by telling jokes (In this story, the elephant does understand English). Of course it stayed still.As a more practical guy, the GLC CEO tried to make funny gestures, and the elephant still stood firm.Now, it's the professor turn. Being a great thinker, he whispered something to the elephant, and it laughed at him while pointing its trunk at him. The other two were astonished.How come this professor beat them?So the entrepreneur said "OK, let's make another test. Let's make this elephant cry".So there they went again.The entrepreneur told sad stories;
The GLC CEO guy made sad gestures;And they failed again.Then, the professor whispered something again into the elephant's ear and it just cried, weeping and patting away.
This can't be, thought the other two.
So the entrepreneur said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win this test, we will bow to you. Let's make this elephant run".
He went and barked to the elephant orders to run. Of course, it stayed still.
The GLC CEO pushed the elephant and stabbed it with stake to make it run, it stayed still.
So., our professor came to it and whispered something again into its ear and the elephant ran and ran as fast as it could, as if it were scared to death.
The other two surrendered.
"OK, you're the best, pal. Do tell us your secret".
"Well" said the professor.

"The first time I made it laugh, I said 'Professor is the best job' "."When I made it cry, I told the elephant how much I get paid. I told him that the GLC CEO is paid 5 times what I am paid, and the entrepreneur makes so much money in a year that I need entire 5 lives to make as much"."And when I made it run scared to death, I said to it, 'Why don't you be a professor?' "